Yes, after a series of eye drops, vision tests and bright lights, my eyes were left in such a dilated state that the mere thought of a lit-up BlackBerry screen made me wince in pain (although, that's more of a general feeling, actually). Basically, I couldn't look at any light, so the doctor provided me with a lovely and stylish item to dull the pain -- RolLens post-mydriatic sunglasses (retail value $0.34).
Now, if a rolled up piece of tinted plastic isn't the future of fashion, I don't know what the hell is. But save for a few geriatric glaucoma patients, sporting the RolLens in public is unprecedented. Yet there I was, a 20-something female, about to map the uncharted fashion path that is the mainstay of many a post-op octogenarian.
The near-perfect douche-face and retardulous gang sign are indispensable to the busted spectacles-over-RolLens look.
Worn alone, a pair of RolLens shades are fantastic, but paired with a 10-plus-year-old cracked pair of spectacles is simply out of sight! (Get it?! LOL!) Yet, apparently not everyone appreciates my post-mydriatic-inspired style. I recognize that I clearly looked like an asshole, a state of being not abnormal for me, but not even the elderly gentleman in his Rascal scooter gave me a nod of approval. In fact, I seemed to get more confused stares than compliments on my brave, avant-garde choice. However, all of that changed when I got to the office and stopped by to say hello to my boss.
What the hell happened?"
"I went to the eye doctor. I'm thinking about getting laser eye surgery."
"Well, you're looking more Euro-trash than usual."
I admit, I got a little verklempt at that point. My club-kid-on-E-like dilated saucer eyes even teared up a bit behind my RolLens. *sigh* My office knows me so well.