Monday, March 10, 2008

your high school mascot is the bomb...literally

Remember your high school mascot? It was probably the Knights, the Huskies, the Tigers, the Eagles or some other such boring animal and/or old-timey warrior. My high school's, however, was the Scarlets. That's right. We were named after a color. Or a fever. Same difference. Honestly, it doesn't matter why we came to be known as "the Scarlets." It's retardulous any way you look at it, especially considering our "mascot" in 1995 was a skinny senior who used to dress up in head-to-toe red spandex and run around the football field like a rabid mini horse. But then he graduated and no one filled his place for the remaining two years I was there.

However, there was a time when my school tried to create a tangible mascot, but when the most popular student-submitted choice was "The Scarlet Sasquatches," the administration quickly sniped out that idea. And so I graduated a Scarlet, minus the Sasquatch and minus the ersatz Scarlet man.

When I went to college, I lucked out slightly better. I mean, at least there was an image that came to mind whenever someone shouted it out at a sporting event. Although, at the same time, hearing hundreds of kids shouting "Go Pioneers!" didn't have the same ring as, say, "Go Bears!" or whatever. But when you're at a Division III liberal arts school, you take what you can get.

Finding a good mascot is tough. You don't want it to be boring (How many Spartans or Panthers are out there?) and you certainly don't want to be, well, retarded (see above three paragraphs). Unfortunately, coming up with a good mascot is harder than it seems, but one intrepid high school has beaten the odds: The Richland (Washington State) High School Bombers.

F*CK. YES.

Is that really not the best logo you've ever seen? Their mascot is a goddamn mushroom cloud! Tight! But don't think it doesn't get any better either because, e-friends, it most certainly does. Their motto is "Proud of the Cloud!" Radioactively tight!

How funky is your chicken WMD?

In light of the awesomeness that is the Richand High School mascot, I want to initiate a new mascot for the city of DC. Maybe the DC Napalm Clouds?

21 comments:

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

and this is why I read your blog, always making me laugh - I really needed that today........

GO NAPALM CLOUDS :clap: :clap:

The Vinyl District said...

Neptune High School, Neptune, NJ -- home of the (...) Scarlet Fliers.

WTF's a "flier" for that matter?

Scarlet lettermen indeed.

Mike Licht said...

Stuyvesant HS Peglegs, NYC

I-66 said...

I graduated a Highlander. Not only was that exceedingly lame, it also caused me to eliminated any likelihood of me going to Radford University because it meant I would be a Highlander the rest of my life. I mean, not that there weren't other reasons/rumors not to go to Radford...

Marissa said...

cap hill--

I'll talk to Fenty about this.

tvd--

A passenger on an aircraft?

mike--

Wow. Just wow. I had to Google that to confirm. Wow.

i-66--

I don't know. Highlander sounds kind of cool. Like some drifter in the desert. I mean, some crazy drifter in the desert.

I-66 said...

More like the a kilted redheaded Scotsman with bagpipes.

John said...

My hometown's East High School was the E-Rabs. Whatever those are.

Peter said...

How about
DC Fall Out Flipper Babies?

Marissa said...

i-66--

Ahh shucks! My bad! I was thinking of Wastelanders. Now there's a mascot!

john--

E-Rabs? I can only imagine the visual that goes with that...

peter--

I like the way you think.

Anonymous said...

RJ Reynolds High. The Demons.

Jennifer said...

Boonton High School in Boonton, NJ are also the Bombers. Bomber Pride was our motto - I really wish I were kidding. For a long time the logo was a black bomb, similar to the Bomb-ombs who chase Mario and Luigi - they were painted all over the gym and hallways. But then senior year they changed it to a little green alien flying a fighter plane. Significantly less fabulous, by far.

Shannon said...

In high school, I was a Husky, then a Bulldog (so being a bitch goes way back). But I got sick of being canine, and went for the awesomely abstract Tarheel.

Anonymous said...

Shannon- UNC Tarheels?? Right now I'm a Husky but I want to be a Tarheel when I graduate...

Anonymous said...

I actually went to Richland High. It's our mascot b/c we live really close to the Hanford nuclear reservation, where the plutonium used in the bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki was made. There's another story that it was for the bomber plane that the Hanford workers bought for the military but the plane is our secondary mascot. The latest motto at our school is "NUKE 'EM!!!" (not kidding). The administration doesn't like that one too much lol

Anonymous said...

I also went to RHS, although it was Columbia High School at the time. I remember Time Magazine doing an unappealing article on the mascot when I was in school back in the 80's. Go Bombers!

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I also graduated from Richland High School, home of the "Bombers".. in addition to the last two posts, there have been several protests the past few years from people who think that now that the Manhattan Project isn't what it used to be and because of what the mushroom cloud usually stands for, that it should be changed.

There were actually quite a few students involved too.. and they were very vocal about it and started putting flyers over anywhere there was a logo and some-such crap like that.

I believe it came down to the fact that -- at the end of the day -- it is our heritage. The reason this town exists and thrives today is because of what went on and continues to go on out at Hanford.

A good portion of RHS grads right now are third or fourth generation Bombers and I'm fairly certain most of the staff are too.. so while it might offend a lot of people -- there are more than enough roots to keep it intact. : )

Meigs said...

He, he, he, class of RHS '87! Always great to see someone get a kick out of us! Go Bombers!!!

Meigs said...

Humorous tidbit. Back in the 80's we were almost kicked out of the state tournament against Mercer Island over banners! Mercer Island students made a sign that said "Diffuse the Bombers" and some ingenious RHS students put up new ones that said "Nagasaki was an island TOO!"!!
Yes, we've definitely not been considered "politically correct" for our mascot and all the shops here in Richland named things like Atomic Lanes, Fission Chips (get it, Fish n chips), Atomic Auto Body and many many others! Yeah, that's us.
Thanks for finding fun in it like we do.

Marissa said...

I just LOL'd for five minutes over Fission Chips! (I'm such a dork!) Thanks for the stories!

Anonymous said...

I also graduated from Richland High. My favorite has always been "NUKE 'EM TILL THEY GLOW."

Anonymous said...

Go Bombers ! Class of '79 and will always be a Bomber !