Wednesday, April 16, 2008

hiatus schmiatus

I am seriously the biggest e-dork I know. I can't not blog. Like, I just can't. It's sick. But awesomely so because, my-oh-my, do I have a special treat for you! I'll be damned if I didn't conduct some crack Shambles P.I. work on the Hill yesterday!

There I was, just sleeping doing my job, playing BrickBreaker being a diligent reporter at a House hearing, when I looked up from my game notes and saw it -- the car accident of lady blazers.

Holy sh*t!

Dayyyyyyyyyyyyum! That sh*t is tragic. Yet, yet...I can't look away! It's kind of mesmerizing in its own freakish manner (um, kind of like this blog, no?). As I stared at this apparent aberration, I began to feel a little dizzy. I mean, I didn't know what to look at! I could look at the scribbles on the right shoulder. Or I could stare at the, uh, the skyline? Is that a skyline emerging from the olive green and black checkerboard pattern above her right ass cheek?! But zoinks! I can't forget about the other side of the jacket! Those pink and black diamonds are just...just...phenomenal! And what's that?! That sleeve! Is that a target? Like, is that an invitation of sorts???

Oh man...sensory overload!

It's simply horrifying! Or...or is it?

The more I think about it, the less I'm horrified by it and the more, dare I say, intrigued I am. I'm not sure when the switch from strong disgust to mild admiration occurred, but it definitely took a few moments. Here, let's test my theory. Let's see if I, myself, am simply just bat-sh*t crazy or if I'm onto something here. We'll let the memory of this garment marinate in our minds for a few moments and then we'll look again. Don't worry, I'll wait.

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.....So how about that Facebook? I finally joined (during my, um, one-day hiatus) and I'm so confused by it. It's hard being functionally retarded sometimes...

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.....Yeah, I'm also thinking about launching a second blog -- a blog geared specifically toward personal style/street fashion, to be exact. I know, as if I needed to lose more sleep...

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.....Oh right! Sorry, back to the blazer at hand. Here, take a second look and see what you think now:

Blazer, blazer, blazer, can't you see? Sometimes your patterns just hypnotize me.

It's...it's strangely...still ugly satisfying, right? I mean, at least it's interesting, especially in comparison to, you know, the usual Capitol Hill fare. In fact, the more I look at it and think about its retro Saved by the Bell-esque qualities, the more I begin to think that I might actually be into it -- or at least the idea of it.

See, as objectively gnarly as that blazer is, it takes serious guts to attempt to wear something like that. And I, the girl who according to her coworkers was "dressed like Luke Skywalker"* the other day, have to respect this woman for at least trying (as well as entertaining me throughout an otherwise very dull Congressional hearing).

So, to the woman in the very, very, very, VERY jazzy blazer, this Shambles P.I. applauds you. Bravo to the max!

*Which, of course, I took as a compliment, especially since they were, um, right...

16 comments:

I-66 said...

Ahh there's the Biggieness.

Huh. When you put it that way you did look a little like Luke.

Gooooose... I am (not) your father...

Shannon said...

When you said you had to go home early, i-66 and I figured you were off to shoot womp rats at the dump.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Yeah, I don't know what's up with the star wars thing. A couple of years ago I kept seeing women everywhere wearing these:

http://freedomwife.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/mustang-brown-sweater.jpg

which look remarkably like this:

http://www.movie-maniacs.co.uk/images/OBI-WAN%20GG..jpg

obi wan much?

Marissa said...

goose--

Luke is hot, thanks!

shannon--

Nope, I don't shoot anything that doesn't attack first. But I will STRIKE BACK! LOL! Get it?!

ninja--

Retro future awesomeness. It's here to stay.

I-66 said...

Just so you know, you will not be permitted to use any Jedi mind tricks on me to steal my dog. That is all.

N said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
N said...

I wore a red sweater with multicolored striped yesterday and I lost count of how many people commented on my "colorful sweater." It's just color, people!! I imagine many people thought I looked crazy, so rather than shunning crazy blazer lady, I appreciate her uniqueness.

Marissa said...

n--

Just take it as a compliment if DC doesn't like it. That's what I do. And I'm with you on crazy blazer lady. I fully appreciated it by the end of the two-plus hours that I stared at it. In fact, if I owned it, I, too, would wear it. I don't know where or when, but I'm sure I'd figure out a time and place.

N said...

For your next Shambles PI, can you launch an attack on flip flops in order to point out how ugly and ridiculous people look wearing flip flops to work? I actually find flip flips more offensive than crocs.

N said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter said...

I like the blazer. It's fitted, you know? It looks tight. I mean like TIGHT DAWG, but also tight as in not loose. Also it looks like it lacks shoulder pads which is cool. Shoulder pads are for assholes.

Also could you play tic tac toe on it? I'm all about multi-functional usiform clothing.

Marissa said...

n--

You read my mind! Commuter shoes are so on my Shambles PI to-do list.

peter--

Yes, yes and yes.

cindc said...

Personally, I like it. If it was not fitted it would be frumpy, but as it is (based on what I can see in the picture) it looks fashionable and flattering. Definitely not something you see often in the professional world.

However, if I owned the blazer I'd probably only wear it on the streets-- I can see it looking hideous with office-friendly trousers or a knee-length skirt.

Jennifer said...

me thinks Suze Orman would like to steal that woman's blazer.

Marissa said...

cindc--

You are right about wearing it in context. I think it could really be a cool piece. But yeah, after the hearing was over I noticed she had paired the blazer with a knee length black suit skirt and some boxy-looking mid-calf suede boots. *shaking head*

jennifer--

Mayhaps! That Ms. Orman sure does love a wacky pattern!

Righteous (re)Style said...

Um . . . I have wanted to share this with the world, but have not had the right opp. to do so. World, I have a life-sized cutout of Luke Skywalker in my living room!!!! (Wow. That felt good. Like years of a burden lifted off my shoulders . . .) Oh. And I have an Ewok, too. Um, and I was Luke for Halloween last year. (Too much information? Or is it the cross-dressing?)

BTW, the greatest hairdresser in the world, Vivian, is not at a salon right now b/c she just moved back. However, she is prob. coming over to my house to cut my hair next week and perhaps we could work something out (ahem, I like rolled $50s).