And as much as I would've loved a paragraph full of complimentary words about my brilliance (let's just forget about the fact that I'm a simple idiot in disguise), alas, the reason for the telephone recitation of these bits of text was because Horace T. might be even more adept than I am at describing why DC sucks so much. So hilarious, in fact, are Horace's deep thoughts about, um, kickball, that I begged him to let me post the E-mail online. Luckily, Horace T. is a brilliant man, so he agreed. So, let 'er rip, Horace!*
I adore your blog...[Ed. I *had* to keep that bit in.] I identify with your resentment towards this Los Angeles for Ugly People. I relocated to this degenerate place at the end of 2005 after lifeguarding on the beach all summer cause I had some friends here: dreadful mistake. The area's full of pretentious, narcissistic insecure strokejobs scared to express themselves so they have to find dates on e-Harmony, but anyway...
I had a blog idea you: Ever notice the dynamic of the kickball culture? It's basically a club for dopey, uncoordinated cubicle jockeys to meet together outside of the bar & prey on young women... clumsily at that. But strangely enough, a number of the women who signup for kickball are fresh faces to DC just looking to meet some nice, athletic guys outside of the bar culture...they just so happened to receive Bush Administration quality intel. These sloppy losers don't know how to interact with the opposite sex so they flirt by pegging the socially adjusted transient women in the head to demonstrate their faux dominance. And these fawns who are wounded and vulnerable then get guilt-tripped to "drink off that headache" at the "TEAM BAR" for "TEAM FLIPCUP" where -- after a couple of rounds of flipcup and listening to these unlovable losers talk about the time at the office when they pranked their buddy Rick by putting a post-it on his optical mouse -- it sets in that the fawns have pranced into a bear trap. Slowly the cute girls start dwindling from the roster until "Uncle Ned's Parakeets" either start to a) forfeit b) recruit desperate chubby high school girls or c) start going tranny so they can fill the 4 girl league minimum.
Ha... so that's my 2 cent observation about Beltway Kickball. Thanks for keeping my cynical ass laughing with your blog.