true to the game (part 2)

Like a real hustler, my job is never done. And so continues True to the Game (Part 2) a.k.a. my trip to the Indian Head Highway Thrift Store. Yeah, I know my hustle is f*cking hardcore. Shoppin' ain't easy.

To recap, Part One highlighted not only my theory of finding decent vintage goods, but also my four well-worth-it purchases. Part Two, however, will cut more quickly to the proverbial chase: Basically, I've laid out here a low-resolution photo essay of sh*t I probably should've bought but found possibly even too ridiculous for the likes of my rather Euro-trashy, glovelets-and-skinny-yellow-jeans-wearing, I-love-posting-gratuitous-pictures-of-all-my-sweet-sweatervests aesthetic.

Brace yourselves because it's going to get sparkly and galactic!


You know, I came very, very close to purchasing this multi-colored, almost clownish tunic, but I passed it up to make sure I had enough flow to allow my procurement of True to the Game, i.e. THE GREATEST FABLE OF ALL TIME. (As we embark on this e-journey together, you will soon learn that on The Anti DC street dice will trump nearly everything, even clown gear). Anyway, before you stop believing in my style prowess (that is, if you ever somehow believed in it in the first place), I will tell you what exactly drew me to this shirt. Besides the sheer madness of the fabric's pattern (as well as the fabric itself -- classic '70s polyester), this blouse featured some quite interesting details, such as the button-cuffed sleeves, the square collar and the waist tie. I can see this looking good with a pair of slouchy boots and black city shorts. On second thought, I may need to find a $2 bill and go get this.


And here's where things got fabulously bad. Imagine a hooker...Wait, better yet, imagine you're in Moscow, Russia. Besides the snow, the Kremlin and the Putin, chances are you'll also see a few strumpet-fabulous footwear selections like this on the street. The toe is so sharp it could literally snuff a bitch out at one stab and the chain in the back, well, use your imagination. And to think! For just $5, you too could live the dream! It's a damn shame I'm not a size 9.


Uh huh. That is exactly what it looks like. That's a goddamn sequin vest patterned after not just a leopard, but a zebra too. This was pretty expensive at $10, but since it's a size XL, you know you'd be getting your money's worth. Seriously, I will buy this for somebody who will promise to actually wear it. I'll throw in a top hat for free.


And lastly, the pièce de résistance -- the velour jumpsuit. I don't know quite where to start with this ensemble. I mean, like I said, it's velour and it's a jumpsuit. The white satin patches on the shoulders and the detail at the cuffs add an extra spacey, almost galactic je ne sais quoi. I'm tempted to spend the $12 to buy this, sew "JUICY" across the ass, put it up on Ebay and watch the competing bids roll in from Georgetown. Like I said, I'm always hustling.