make it rain

I was a little disheartened this morning to wake up to no rain. (OMG! Is there anything she won't complain about?!) I feel a bit mentally under the weather, if you will (LOL!). See, I'm the kind of person who loves the elements -- rain, snow, hail, ice. I love 'em. They make the day more exciting. [Insert your own inference about how lame I am here.]

Being from Minnesota and having lived in cities like Boston and Moscow (where winter is up your proverbial butt nine months out of the year...wow, I'm also stunned at that turn of phrase), my love of inclement weather shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone. And while snow is probably my preferred element, rain comes in at a close second. It's romantical, isn't it? I mean, next to liking pina coladas, not doing yoga, having half-a-brain and making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape, getting caught in the rain is a criterion I always look for when I'm tired of my lady and put out a personal ad so I can cheat on her in a man.

Rupert Holmes' epic soft-rock classic aside, however, the main reason I'm upset is because today I had planned to parlay the stormy weather into an e-discussion of two songs entitled "Make It Rain." Clearly, I'm still heading in that direction, but now with a new, more awkward introduction! So, there you go. Even my blog adapts to changes in weather.

But back to the matter at hand -- "Make it Rain." The two very different renditions of the same title has confirmed to me the wonders of metaphor. And damn it all if The Anti DC doesn't enjoy a fine metaphor! Now on to the show.

The first iteration of "Make It Rain," written and performed by Tom Waits, starts off: She took all my money/And my best friend/ You know the story/ Here it comes again/ I have no pride/ I have no shame/ You gotta make it rain/ Make it rain!

The second "Make It Rain," written and performed by Fat Joe and Lil' Wayne, begins: Yeah I'm in this business of terror/ Got a handful of stacks better grab an umbrella/ I make it rain, (I make it rain)/ I make it rain, (I make it rain)/ I make it rain on them hoes/ I make it rain, (I make It rain)/ I make it rain on them hoes/ I make it rain, (I make it rain)/ I make it rain on them hoes/ I make it rain(I make it rain)/ I make it rain on them hoes.

Now, I may be a pretentious jackass, but I'm no Pitchfork writer (you guys aren't hiring, are you?), so I will keep my oft-elitist comparisons to a minimum and just say that I'm pretty sure Mr. Waits is not singing about the same thing as Mr. Joe and Mr. Wayne and vice versa...or are they? Who knows! And herein lies the beauty of metaphor. Perhaps, Waits is simply envisioning himself a proverbial stripper on the world's stage, waiting for God -- the wealthy nudie bar patron -- to, indeed, make it rain on him with cold hard cash. And mayhaps, Fat and Lil' are simply offering "them hoes," as it were, a chance to start a new life as if they were wild but delicate hyrdrangias waiting to bloom after spring's first showers. *sigh*

See! What does any of it really mean? It can go either way, thanks to the wonders of literary devices, which is why I can't decide which version of "Make It Rain" I prefer. I guess I like the impassioned delivery of Waits. However, at the same time, I like the idea of stacks of bills just falling on my head. Seriously, can someone make that happen (you know, without me becoming a stripper)? Kthnxbye!