Thursday, April 10, 2008

ridin' dirty

It's days like this that make me want to walk off the job and do one thing and one thing only -- ride dirty on a Segway around DC. And before you LOL and attribute that last sentence to my biting sarcastic wit, let me assure you that I'm dead serious, like, Cheney serious.

Now doesn't he look happy? And we all know only two things make a Cheney smile -- secret Eastern European torture prisons and shooting people in the face. So, with happiness standards like that, riding a Segway around DC must be pretty epic. Luckily, DC is just douchetastic enough to have a company dedicated to such tours.

And you can bet your khaki-covered ass that I will be on one of those things sometime soon looking just as tool, er, I mean cool as these people in this unnessessarily long Segway advert. Hint: Skip to minute five when the freestylin' comes out. I can't wait to see this in the X-Games.


I-66 said...

I demand that you buy one and put spinners on it.

I might even buy you a slurpee and Ritter chocolate.

ms. spinach said...

oh, i SO want to do this.

maybe we should pre-plan a group activity, to avoid getting slowed down by the elderly people that i always see taking these tours. though really, it heartens me to know that if grandpa-types can capably ride a segway around d.c., then i should also be able to do it without horribly injuring and/or embarrassing myself.

Beach Bum said...

Don't judge, but I actually watched the whole video. And the last few seconds of kids doing tricks on the Segway were priceless!! What a ridiculous attempt to make them look cool.

Personally, I think that in a country where people are humongous and sedentary as is, they don't need an incentive not to walk...

Shannon said...

Tourists are already fat people who move hey, let's make them wider and slower by putting them on Segways!

Marissa, are you going to put baseball cards in the spokes of your Segway?

Marissa said...


22s, son!

ms. spinach--

Nice! It is on! I'll be emailing you.

beach bum--

I thought the same thing while watching it. Seriously, the last thing the USA needs is an excuse to be lazier...but then again, the Segway looks so damn fun.


Instead of baseball cards, I'd like to use Garbage Pal Kid cards. Cool?

Naomicampbellthrewherphoneatme said...