Thursday, April 17, 2008

uh-oh! people don't like me!

I was going to blog about something completely different than what I'm about to post, but I will save that for either later or, more likely tomorrow. It can wait. What I'm about to type, however, cannot.

I randomly came across a blog post this morning via DC Blogs and could not resist adding my two obnoxious cents to the comment pool. My main problem was not that this blog's author clearly hates tight pants (this is DC, I'm used to that). No, my main problem was that he and many of his readers made ridiculous assumptions about the subject of the blog, a typical Brooklyn hipster. Now, I can handle routine mockings of hipsterdom. In fact, I endure it nearly daily and find it quite often amusing. However, when the superficial mocking goes beyond that and begins to allude to someone's degree of manliness, in this particular case, or sexuality, as several of this blog's readers found necessary to chime in on, it legitimately pisses me off. It's not funny. It's just mean.

Moreover, as an apparent DC hipster, I feel it is my duty to stand up for those who veer from the almost Nazi-like view here that people should conform in their attire to what is bought and sold at Sears or J.C. Penneys. While I definitely have my style preferences, including glovelets in April, I certainly don't advocate or subscribe to the view that *everyone* should be into the same sh*t I am. In fact, I would absolutely detest if everyone began dressing the exact same way I do. A world in which everyone dresses the same is boring. All I am contending here is that people put in an *effort* to make themselves look good no matter what their personal style preferences are (i.e., do not wear stained sweatpants and f*cking house shoes in public -- that takes zero effort).

Oh, these are the times when I miss A Serious Job Is No Excuse.


Shannon said...

Bitch please.


Velvet said...

The next time someone takes issue with your DC Hating, I'd like to recommend that they can 1) Actually live in D.C. or within 30 miles of it so their argument could have at least some validity - those who live here and those who just visit for club nights have massively different experiences and 2) That they could fucking spell and string together a sentence that makes sense so I could understand the jib they are spewing.

Honey, you can't read the stupid blogs. They make you dumber by virtual osmosis.

roissy said...

having dated half the hipsterettes in DC i've got credit toward dumping on their pseudo subculture at will. fact: jeans that wear like tights on ostensible males will never look good no matter how much the commissars of couture deem it fashion forward.

Peter said...


Fact or "just... like, your opinion man..."? (Big Lebowski? Anyone?) Some ladies (and guys) like the tight jeans wearing skinny legged dudes, and some ladies (and guys) like the "I'm going to the Dave Matthews Concert and it's 1997 in the Midwest" looking dudes. Regardless of how many ladies you claim to have dated and how annoyed you claim to be by their fashion preferences, this dude's pants choices don't really reflect on his manliness or sexuality (you impugned the the former, commenters the latter). If you're mad because "he gets laid more than the average straight American man" then go out, get some tight ass jeans and a sweet vintage jacket (that jacket is tight as fuck) and get some ass, but for fuck's sake, quit whining.

Velvet said...

Well I personally don't like the tight jean look only because I heard that it cuts down on sperm count. And at my hag status, I'm just trying to get knocked up as fast as I can before, gasp, my eggs dry up! So I hit the clubs night after night, bagging guys in loose fitting jeans. Short sighted? Sure. But approaching life and dating with a set prescription of rules is how people end up happy, no?

Shannon said...

Personally, I couldn't care less what other people wear. Just so long as nobody wears those stupid sweatpants with words across the butt. Man, I hate those pants. I'd outlaw them if I could.

Velvet, you and I should start a Hagitude Appreciation Society.

Marissa said...


Thank you for backing me up on that jacket! It is, indeed, tight as fuck.

Shannon said...

Also, I'm really entertained by that comments thread over there. "This guy is such a sheep and can't think for himself and wahhhhhhh....but I'm going to agree wholeheartedly with whatever Roissy says about him!"

Seriously, people, get brains of your own. Then use them. Thanks.

The Vinyl District said...

uh oh...i'm wearing that guy's footwear right this very sec. not as trashed, but still. (must look inward...must...)

Marissa said...


Uh-oh! Douches, er, people aren't going to like you either! Zoinks!

The Vinyl District said...

it IS part of the charm.

BAD said...

I'm just amazed that roissy trashed him for gloves in April. Don't they realize that Brooklyn is colder than DC? And that weekend really was quite brisk! Learn how to use, haters!

Marissa said...


I don't think you fully understand the true idiocy behind DC-centric megalomania. I mean, what is this "Brooklyn" you speak of? A world in which men's style doesn't begin and end in the Land's End catalogue and sandals'n'socks are *gasp* not fashionable?! O! The horror!

Shannon said...

Well, at least you got out of there before the homophobia really kicked into high gear. Last time I checked, "queer" and "nancy" were nauseating slurs.

Funny how the Internet allows people to be their worst selves.

Marissa said...


As soon as the word "projecting" came out, I was gone. That's the "I know you are but what am I" of grown-up debate. In fact, actually, I think Pee-Wee's argument is better.

Remember, as the great Santino once said, you can't shine a turd. Some things and people unfortunately just can't be helped.

Righteous (re)Style said...

I miss Johanna (of "A Serious Job . . .") too. I also missed her this weekend when I was at a supposedly "hipster" event and saw the author of another "well-known" DC "fashion blog" dressed in what I can only politely call "sloppy Banana Republic circa 1995". I emphasize sloppy. Ugh. Johanna would have never gone out like that.

As for the blog post you mention, I am so offended by so much in his post that I don't think I can even comment. Wait, yes I can. He sounds like he hasn't gotten laid in a LONG time and he is very, very bitter about it. I think also that he is the type of guy who has never actually had a sincerely intimate relationship with a woman. On top of it, he doesn't really understand the complexities of sexuality. I imagine he is one of those Georgetown douchebags, comparing conquests, while completely lacking any self-awareness. Completely not self-actualized. I bet he's from a red state.

PG County girl said...

Roissy seems to the type of man who wears a cell-phone belt clip.
That is all.

Righteous --

While I'm sure what you say is 100% true, please don't insult red-state natives by assuming that Roissy hails from said states (and have you already forgotten the editrix you claim to miss so much? not only is she from red country, but she is a strong believer in the red doctrine).

Besides, most people from a red state wouldn't know that the gentleman featured in the photo wore that outfit on any old day. They'd think it was a Halloween costume. Or that he was homeless.

long live blue states lose!