"dc isn't *that* bad"

Hell has frozen over. Or melted, I suppose, depending on how much you dig the idea of Dante's Divine Comedy. But regardless, "weather" (LOL!) extremely cold or ridiculously hot, some f*cked up sh*t has occurred. Mainly, my out-of-town friends let it slip yesterday that this cess pool of a town is "not that bad."

Yes, despite that the last image one of them had of DC was, ahem, two women in blaze orange Crocs and sweatpants splattered with pimpjuice paint (photo forthcoming), my friends actually uttered those five magical words: "DC is not that bad." And while, I'd love to say it was me who opened their eyes, one quick perusal through this masterpiece of an online hobby would reveal otherwise.

Nope, the collective change of heart came after a Saturday in the ghetto. And by, "in the ghetto," which I hope you read in your mind as Cartman would sing it, I mean we were in a warehouse in Northeast. To be even more exact, we were here (thanks to a hot tip from one lovely reader):

To give you an idea of the good fun had at this NE warehouse on Saturday, I was able to track down a couple of photos here. Not pictured, unfortunately, is one of my friends who invented the piano key necktie* best dance move ever, the Faux Flash. All you need is a trench coat, a creepy leer and excellent timing. Boom. Faux Flash. If you're lucky, maybe one day you'll see it in action.

Anyway, this sh*t was tight. And maybe this is the work of Bizarro World again, or maybe (just maybe) The Anti DC is finally getting her comeuppance (but, like, in a good way).

But seriously, enough of this "DC isn't that bad" crap. I'm losing my touch! Ahh! But, wait, before we panic and think this blog has jumped the big ol' shark, let's once again turn to DC's No. 1 douche institution, the Federal Government, for some unintentional comic relief. In this clip, "Bob" of the Transportation Security Administration does some serious investigating over at TSA's blog (yes, it is as retarded as it sounds!) to find out that the Macbook Air does, indeed, "look different" from other laptops. Rocket science!

*Zoolander reference anyone?