Thursday, April 3, 2008

so this is bizarro world...

Holy Mother of Tight Pants. Hell hath frozen over. Anyone remember the 137th Seinfeld episode, The Bizarro Jerry? You know, the third episode in the eighth season? The one that originally aired on October 3, 1996? (Thank you, Wikipedia.)

Well, I certainly do, even without the help of everyone's favorite Encyclopedia for Retards. It's the one where Elaine befriends a group of three guys, who mirror Jerry, Kramer and George, but are their perfect opposites. For example, Kevin, the Bizarro Jerry, is described as reliable and kind, the opposite of Jerry, who is objectively kind of a jackass (which is why the show is comic gold!). The same concept applies to Gene, the Bizarro George, and Feldman, the Bizarro Kramer.

Anyway, I'm assuming if you're literate, you get the point. Sh*t in Bizarro World, a concept originally depicted in the Superman comic series, is f*cked up.

Well, e-friends, I think I entered my very own Bizarro World today: Two (2!) government employees not only returned my calls for comment on a couple articles I've been working on, but they actually said useful things and (...wait for it...) they were nice to me!

That's right, it seems the government collectively pulled the proverbial stick that is usually stuck deep within its endless anus out of its wide, oversized office ass! WTF?!

Usually I'm forced to borderline harass Fed-bitches on Thursday nights only to have to hurriedly scribble, "[INSERT ASSHAT DEPARTMENT] could not be reached for comment" minutes before press time. But today was different. Today, I was able to complete my articles with actual statements. Words! Retarded words, yes, but words nonetheless, and without the usual air of condescendence and disdain!

Gawd. It was amazing. But not as amazing as this: Meet Bizarro Samwell. His name is Butters.* This is a fabulous day. Me love.

And OMG! The Real Samwell has a new song!

*Click on the link if the embedded clip ain't workin'!


I-66 said...

Yeah... I hate to dash your hopes, but the stick'll be firmly implanted again by Monday morning.

Marissa said...

Probs. But I like to live in the moment.