Thursday, January 24, 2008

the anti dc's super tight google list

Technology never ceases to amaze me. Although, if we're being honest, I'm the kind of person who finds most anything I don't scientifically understand -- black holes, nuclear fission, iPods, adding, toilets, string cheese -- amazing (is that called autism or mental retardation?). But back to technology, and more specifically, the stat counter I recently attached to this little blog of mine.

This stat counter thingamajig is quite astonishing. Besides telling me how many people are clicking on (and hopefully reading) my posts, it also tells me how they navigated there way to my blog in the first place. It's kind of like my very own Patriot Act, except I can't use any of the information to actually track people down and put them in Cuban military prisons (zoinks!).

What my stat counter does provide me with, however, are the keywords people have Googled that have either intentionally or (more often) unintentionally led them to my musings. And, let's just say I'm surprised and amused at the sick and twisted keywords that Google has linked to The Anti DC. So without further ado, let's review some of the latest Googlings -- the metaphorical yellow brick road, if you will -- that led these Dorothys to the Oz that is this blog:
  • Date lab;
  • Annoying people on the bus;
  • Adams morgan;
  • Low drunk;
  • Ricardo russia;
  • Hipsters blogging in dc;
  • Hipster jobs dc;
  • Hipster things in dc;
  • DC hipster;
  • Go-go boots;
  • Band aid addict;
  • Rusty cox gay;
  • Stalin putin paint walls blue*; and (of course I saved the best for last...)
  • Euphemisms for poo.
Beautiful list, no? Although, strange as it seems, I instantly was able to guess to which post each set of search words led, including "rusty cox gay," "low drunk," "band aid addict" and, yes, "euphemisms for poo." I cannot guess, however, how these Googlers reacted when they clicked on my link and instead of porno, an online liquor store, a Band-Aid fanpage or a skeet site, found oodles of senseless words. But some things are better left a the mechanisms behind this magical stat counter and string cheese.


*By the way, I know with almost 100 percent certainty that the Googler who searched for what may seem like the most random of searches ("stalin putin paint walls blue") was actually trying to find a Russian joke, popularized recently by Time magazine when its editors named Russian Supreme Ruler of the World Vladimir Putin their "Person of the Year." The joke, which I actually included in a 2005 grad school paper comparing political humor in Russia and the United States (yay, I'm a nerd!), goes as follows:
Putin is sitting in his office with his head in his hands, when Stalin's ghost appears. Putin tells the ghost his problems, bemoaning the incompetence of his Kremlin underlings.

"That's easy to fix," Stalin says. "Shoot all the democrats and paint the Kremlin walls blue."

"Why blue?" Putin asks.

"Hah! I knew you'd only ask about the second part!"

LOL, Russian humor, LOL!

1 comment:

Righteous (re)Style said...

Ha! That's an awesome joke - can't wait to tell it to my parents.