I honestly don't know what in hell has gotten into me this week, but I found something else I can stand about this place. And that wonderful thing is...or things I should say are scooters!
My "F*CK YES" scooter is the Yamaha Vino (You bet that's Italian for wine!) with a 125cc engine, which means it goes much faster than that pansy "YES" model, the 50cc Honda Metropolitan. Plus, since effing DC is one of the few places that requires one go get a full-on motorcycle license to drive any size motorized bicycle (What! You think I'd let a post go by without bitching just once? Never!), I might as well get the faster one. Most places -- reasonable places -- don't require licenses for 50cc bikes and under. They also allow you to have guns.
But anyway, back to the "F*CK YES." I'll admit, in my dream scooter world, I'd get the 150cc "HELL-TO-THE-YES" model Vespa, but alas, I'm a writer (Psssst! That means I'm poor!), so, I don't think I can manage the $4,000+ price tag. In fact, I'll probably have a hard enough time scrounging the $2,600 needed to get the Yamaha. I mean, I don't want to tell you what to do or anything, but, you know, maybe you should just go ahead and buy me my scooter. But don't do it for me, do it for you. DC will look cooler with more model "YES," "HELL-TO-THE-YES" and "F*CK YES" vehicles on its streets. And you want to be cool right? Right. Cash only. Thanx.